My Story
I had to navigate my own divorce over the last few years after a long marriage. My cancer diagnosis shook my world about a year after the first lockdown and I realised that I had compromised so much that I had lost my identity. After surgery and radiotherapy, the loss of my HRT and the awareness of the devastating effects of taking Tamoxifen to ward off this disease left me reeling.
I was totally unprepared for divorcing a high-net-worth man and unfortunately all our intentions of resolving our separation amicably fell apart very early on. I never thought that I would step into the Royal Courts of Justice for our matter to be heard. The experience was not only daunting, but it was ridiculously expensive and emotionally draining.
There can be little else as daunting as walking into the Royal Courts of Justice and knowing that someone you have never met before is going to look down on you and determine your financial future. I was unprepared to answer when I was asked directly by the judge how I was planning to earn a living after being completely reliant on my ex-husband for almost 24 years. I honestly, but shakingly said that I had no clue. I had spent all that time caring for him and my children. That was part of the deal that we had made from the beginning. In hindsight I wish that I had prepared an answer and I now coach clients to be prepared for all eventualities when they go to court.
Not even my legal training could prepare me for the feeling of overwhelm and I wish that I had the benefit of coaching ahead of the court dates. Coupled with this I had to also navigate my way through a religious divorce which is a challenging and emotional process. All too often the religious divorce is unfairly used as a weapon to make one feel obliged to accept a financial offer.
My New Path
Personally, it was during one of my consultations with my solicitor that the idea of becoming a Divorce and Breakup Coach was first discussed.
I had sacrificed my own career during my marriage which I always regretted. Based on my own experience I believed that I could help others navigating this extremely lonely and challenging period in their lives.
I soon realised during the 18 months of my divorce journey that if I felt overwhelmed, and at times, petrified by being the financially vulnerable party with no credit card or significant assets of my own and who had to rebuild my financial world, then anyone who had no idea of the law or who had never seen the inside of a court could be completely overwhelmed by the process.
Testimonials
“At 48 and the worst time in my life due to an abusive ex -husband and having to deal with multiple issues all with no family. Barbara has been a rock of emotional and practical support that I have been able to depend on. She is very kind, highly empathetic and understanding with a wealth of ideas on how to cope with multiple strands of issues. Barbara has helped me through some very dark days and always found the time. I will never forget her valued help at a very lonely time.”
Client T – September 2024